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Final part of the story as Maddy and the other girls reach their new home...
Mature
© 2015 - 2024 Achast
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ugiel's avatar
Aaaand done. Huh. To be honest, I feel kinda dissapointed. 
It was good, of course, just like the previous chapters were. It just ended so... rapidly. Out of sudden - bam! - the end. And it's cool You went for a happy ending - the story would have turned out way too depressing otherwise - but it happenned too quickly. I believe even a brief info on what happened later (bad guys - prison, Maddy - some therapy and back home, etc.) would be better. That wouldn't have left a reader with one huge "whaaa-?" at the end.

The casino itself was amazing. All those ideas for use of slavegirls were clever, I really wished You showed more of it. A pity the scene is at the very and of the story and is rather short.

Now I want to tell about what I haven't liked since the beginning. Tom and Jim. Yeah, I know, it was a purpose to show they're "baaaaad", but You overdid them, I think. They're slavers, they kidnapped main antagonist - that's enough to make us dislike them. You, however, made sure that a reader will find them truly repulsive, given their characters and attitude toward slaves. It doesn't seem natural, though (not that I know anything about slaver's every-day reality ^^;). I truly doubt that middle-aged professionalist, undoubtedly veterans of kidnapping "craft", would act as if they were villains of some comic book story ("They'll never find ya, mwahahaha!" - they behave kinda like this :D ). Compared with the casino manager and his thugs (cold, almost emotionless - that's much better for a slaver antagonist!), Tom's and Jim's behaviour could be named silly if it wasn't a pretty dark BDSM story.

I know I complain a lot, but I liked it overall :) Despite those things I pointed out above, You know how to attract a reader with your style, pace of the story, convincing descriptions of subduing and captivity. And that actually matters in bondage stories :)